Panicky and overwhelmed!

[Misplaced Brit]

So, I spent the better part of last night and today attempting to write out the relationship documentation of my and my hubby's six year relationship. I also saw our Landlord to get a copy of our shared rental agreement, emailed a couple of people for address confirmations, I lost some postcodes and such, spoke with the hubby to get in touch with his accountant who is providing a letter stating why we don't have the hubby's latest tax return yet, emailed yet more friends to see if they will provide written declarations of genuine relationship, this evening we go to get my photos done, and tomorrow morning at 9am, I have my medical examination.

But I feel shocking. I can't concentrate on the relationship documentation, I have random words such as paperclips and rubber bands floating around in my head (Probably from my shopping list for Office Depot). I just feel panicky and utterly overwhelmed by everything, especially with the realization that we'll more than likely have to send our application in a box because there's too much stuff to use an envelope. I didn't expect to feel this way and it kinda scares me. All I keep thinking is 'What if we go through all this and then they deny us?' That would kill me!

Please someone tell me this is normal ... or am I going completely crazy? Is it natural to feel overwhelmed and panicky prior to sending in the application? Gah, if I feel this way now, how will I feel once we start the waiting game??

 

[eyeoftheocean]

Its a natural feeling hun ! thousands more feel like us , it gets easier honest just get those papers sent off along with reciept of meds . hopefully you will be one of the lucky ones who gets PR in 8 month. even if they do deny you which I doubt you can fight it and you don;t have to leave , after 2 years of residing in Canada you are a resident !

Dont dream too much of paper clips and rubbers

 

[Misplaced Brit]

Thanks hun.

I think I'm just really stressed out. It's been such a long hard road for us to be together, and now, when we're so close to making it legal, I'm freaking out. It just feels like far too much, far too fast if that makes sense. Or maybe it's the upcoming medical tomorrow. i don't like Doctors and I have a HUGE phobia of needles. Add to that the fact that I'm not a morning person and I'll probably end up passing out lol.

 

[heatherusa]

So, I spent the better part of last night and today attempting to write out the relationship documentation of my and my hubby's six year relationship. I also saw our Landlord to get a copy of our shared rental agreement, emailed a couple of people for address confirmations, I lost some postcodes and such, spoke with the hubby to get in touch with his accountant who is providing a letter stating why we don't have the hubby's latest tax return yet, emailed yet more friends to see if they will provide written declarations of genuine relationship, this evening we go to get my photos done, and tomorrow morning at 9am, I have my medical examination.

But I feel shocking. I can't concentrate on the relationship documentation, I have random words such as paperclips and rubber bands floating around in my head (Probably from my shopping list for Office Depot). I just feel panicky and utterly overwhelmed by everything, especially with the realization that we'll more than likely have to send our application in a box because there's too much stuff to use an envelope. I didn't expect to feel this way and it kinda scares me. All I keep thinking is 'What if we go through all this and then they deny us?' That would kill me!

Please someone tell me this is normal ... or am I going completely crazy? Is it natural to feel overwhelmed and panicky prior to sending in the application? Gah, if I feel this way now, how will I feel once we start the waiting game??

Yes, we definitely all feel crazy at some point...

Here is my word of warning... if you are someone who doesnt handle stress very well then you need to figure out NOW your plan to have support and minimize your panic and bad/negative/worry/scary/doubtful thoughts because even though the papers are sent, the worry about the unknown makes it harder. I am not saying this to scare you and I am by no means suggesting it isnt worth it, because it is worth it... but it is incredibly stressful and doubt and worry will start to overcome you - so just be prepared for the difficulty that your own mind will create and make sure you work with your spouse to figure out how you will both deal with that stress.

You will do fine! Just stay strong.

 

[Misplaced Brit]

Thanks Heather.

For the most part, I'm not too bad at dealing with stress, but as it piles up and piles up, then it can become an issue.

Thankfully, I do have a good support system around me. My husband is fantastic and has been texting me all day since I sent him a panicked email this morning. As well as that I have a couple of friends who recently emigrated from the UK to the States, and while the process is a lil different, they are able to keep me going when I find things tough going.

My Canadian friends too, are being fantastic at offering support when I cry out for it, and they've been a godsend in previous hard times. I think a big part of why I feel the way I do right now is that the realization of how much stuff we need to send in has finally hit me. All afternoon, I've been texting the hubby, reminding him to do this that and the other - and the poor guy was at work lol!

I know in the end that this will all be worth it, but yes, fear of the unknown definitely reared its ugly head today!

 

[can_usa_97]

I definitely was worried, and well the worry isn't over yet either since I haven't gotten my PPR.
It does ease, there are moments you scream but I agree - having someone to support you through it all make a world of difference. Even if they don't agree with how your feeling at the moment(Ie; irrational)

 

[kelKel]

Completely normal to feel like you're going insane! Its an extremely stressful and crazy process. I hate not knowing the outcome and tend to worry non stop so don't worry you're not alone. We just sent ours out and I feel a little better, my family has been amazing. Keep all your connections close and you'll be just fine

 

[boyee6576]

One moment you feel confident, and the next moment your second guessing everything. Its a roller coaster ride of emotions. Since my husband got his PPR I was feeling pretty good but there are moments I get worried thinking maybe its a joke and he will get rejected again. Its good to have other people who are going through the same thing and understand exactly what your going through. Each stage of the process you seem to hold your breath until you know if you passed or not. its great to come here and know your not completely a basketcase, just only close to being one.

 

[angelbrat]

Omg...all I can do is give you a hug.

I am a Brit, I have just been through it...(landed 20th May 2010)....it's all worth it.

Look for the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[Misplaced Brit]

Thank you so much everyone. It's a relief to know that I'm either not cracking up, or just cracking up along with everyone else lol. We just got home from having my photographs done and I have to admit, I'm feeling much better. Maybe getting out and being able to discuss things with my husband helped. He told me that I'm going through what he went through a month or so ago, and then said 'Welcome to the club honey' LOL!

 

[heatherusa]

Thank you so much everyone. It's a relief to know that I'm either not cracking up, or just cracking up along with everyone else lol. We just got home from having my photographs done and I have to admit, I'm feeling much better. Maybe getting out and being able to discuss things with my husband helped. He told me that I'm going through what he went through a month or so ago, and then said 'Welcome to the club honey' LOL!

Well I dont know how it is where you are but my husbands medical was SOOOO non invasive... they asked some questions and send him for his blood test and xray... the medical is the easiest part...


BTW>.. welcome to the club honey... the ritualistic beatings are nothing compared to what you will put yourself through! LOL

 

[eyeoftheocean]

Its very stressfull , there were times when I was ready to throw the towel in and head back home , but with all the support from my hubby and family I overcame the stress , there were times when I screamed and went into depression for days but a little phone call to family helped me

Just stay strong were all in it together ! and will help each other , remember why we left for a better life !!!

Good luck MisplacedBrit with your meds , let us know how it went , but honsetly it is the easiest part

then you won't here anything for a while , don't panic its in the system , just sit back and get on with your life .

 

[Misplaced Brit]

Thank you eyeoftheocean.

It's 4:31am here, and insomnia is totally kicking my butt. I figured at this point, I'm just going to stay up, jump in the shower in a couple of hours, and then try and sleep a little bit after the medical (If I don't pass out first lol)

As much as its stressful, I can't say (yet!) that I've reached the point of saying 'screw it! Send me home!' LOL

One of my friends contacted me via private message on Facebook with the addresses I requested from him. I was so relieved about that because I hadn't spoken to him in ages. I've also contacted a friend who was a witness at our wedding to ask if she'll write a letter stating why she believes our relationship to be genuine. I'm also going to contact the other witness too, because he held the wedding reception for us at his home. Two other friends that I contacted for letters have already agreed to write one for us, which has put my mind a little more at rest. I also have a couple of friends from back in the UK who will write one for us, even though they haven't physically met my husband. How sweet is that?? I'm determined to get as many as I can. because my husband and I don't have many photos of the two of us together. He's an avid photographer, which means he's usually the one behind the camera lol.

Oh, and my husband is going to add me as a beneficiary on his Life Insurance Policy too. Whew! When will this all end?? LOL!

 

[rrdiggy76]

I don't have many photos of the two of us together. He's an avid photographer, which means he's usually the one behind the camera lol

This is a common situation for many applicants looking to include photographic proof. It is perfectly acceptable to include photos of you both separately, so long as it can be seen that the location is the same. We did this for some of our pictures.

 

[Misplaced Brit]

Oh sweet! That helps a lot. Thanks! ;D