How do you deal with the wait?

[lalune117]

I am SO depressed being away from my husband while I wait! :'(
I have depression issues to begin with, so I'm having a really bad struggle.

The paralegal that is handling my case (since the guy that I didn't like left yay!) said that she expects that my COPR will be issued any day now. But who knows how long "any day" is? I've read (and been told) that it can take anywhere from 2-4 months after the RPRF fee is paid to even get your PPR. We paid mine on February 20th.

Anyone have any advice?

 

[gsize]

you need to be patient. Your timeline is not long. Many people had to wait years (yes, I am one of them)

 

[LeisaP]

I dont have any advice about the copr

but i do agree it should be soon

and also try to just remember, this is a very small stepping stone in the rest of your life.

ive been with my husband 3 years and since the day we met we have spent everyday together, we moved in together 2 months after we met.

and i recently had to be away from him for 3.5 months and it was the hardest thing we ever had to do, but we survived
we have been in process now for 14 months, we spent 3.5 months apart and i recently went to visit him again for 2 weeks and am now back in canada alone still waiting, hopeing this ends soon.

and throughout it i always just tried to keep myself busy with work, friends, family, art. and kept reminding myself why we are doing this, because we want to spend the rest of our life together and when its all over it will be worth it and just a distant memory.

just try to stay positive, we all know this is a really hard process and i know people who have been apart for a year and i dunno how they do it, but for those of us who make it through the process, i believe we could make it through anything else life throws at us.


stay positive! <3

 

[parker24]

I am SO depressed being away from my husband while I wait! :'(
I have depression issues to begin with, so I'm having a really bad struggle.

The paralegal that is handling my case (since the guy that I didn't like left yay!) said that she expects that my COPR will be issued any day now. But who knows how long "any day" is? I've read (and been told) that it can take anywhere from 2-4 months after the RPRF fee is paid to even get your PPR. We paid mine on February 20th.

Anyone have any advice?

I've had depression, I can understand. Although my husband was with me during the process, it SUCKED that he wasn't able to work or we couldn't go out with friends because we had no money etc.

My ONLY secret is to find a hobby and totally lose yourself in that hobby. I had two. One was knitting, I made SO many hats, it's not even funny! And the other was volunteering with kids. Being around kids just made me happy. So figure out your interest and try to find a hobby in that interest field and just lose yourself in it. It will help pass the time.

Also, now that it's spring, start going for walks during the day. The sun will help with depression, it's been proven.

Sending good thoughts your way!!

 

[jenny12345]

Take 5htp it helps A LOT. over the counter

 

[gsize]

Take 5htp it helps A LOT. over the counter

Yes 5htp is good. I was taking that for a while but it stoped working after a while.

The best advice I ever got.......keep busy........learn a language........the wait is not easy.....but you have to keep busy. During my darkest days....2 years ago....my friends used to come over and take me for a walk. The dark clouds eventually fade away.....

Another Corona please !

 

[blueboom]

I am SO depressed being away from my husband while I wait! :'(
I have depression issues to begin with, so I'm having a really bad struggle.

The paralegal that is handling my case (since the guy that I didn't like left yay!) said that she expects that my COPR will be issued any day now. But who knows how long "any day" is? I've read (and been told) that it can take anywhere from 2-4 months after the RPRF fee is paid to even get your PPR. We paid mine on February 20th.

Anyone have any advice?

I have had depression (and all the wonderful stuff that comes with it: substance abuse, self harm, suicide attempts, etc etc) my whole life. I know a little about the struggle you're feeling. This process is extra trying when you have depression issues, even if you have a fast VO. I've been apart from my husband for almost two years and it is already not easy being apart.

This is what I do. When you get down, remind yourself that it is the depression talking negatively, not you. You are not your depression. I know this seems like it has nothing to immigration but it does. There IS an end to this process and your brain is trying to trick you into thinking that this wait for your husband will last forever (it also tries to trick you into thinking you'll be unhappy forever too).

Hobbies may work for you too to pass the time. For me, I get lifestopping lows that make me completely unmotivated to do anything. my support network is really important. It helps me tremendously to know there are others in the same situation as me, and I also have a group of friends in my life who never tire of me talking about immigration and depression even though they've never dealt with immigration before.

The end to this process is coming. Hold onto to that and know you will be with your husband soon. It's an end and the beginning of something new in your marriage.

 

[scylla]

This is off topic - but did you pay for a lawyer / consultant to assist you with the processing of your file? If you did, you should request a partial refund. Whoever is being paid to assist you should have advised you to pay all of the fees (including the RPRF) up front. Failing to do that has unfortunately increased your overall processing time. And you should hold your legal representation responsible for needlessly increasing your processing time. You paid them to make the process better - not worse.

Knowing the fees should all be paid up front is immigration 101. If your consultant / lawyer doesn't know this and didn't properly advise you. - they have no business being in the business of advising people on immigration.

 

[chelseaviel]

I am SO depressed being away from my husband while I wait! :'(
I have depression issues to begin with, so I'm having a really bad struggle.

The paralegal that is handling my case (since the guy that I didn't like left yay!) said that she expects that my COPR will be issued any day now. But who knows how long "any day" is? I've read (and been told) that it can take anywhere from 2-4 months after the RPRF fee is paid to even get your PPR. We paid mine on February 20th.

Anyone have any advice?

It will take a lot of patience. Me and my husband has been away for 3 yrs now and in these 3 long years he was able to visit me once and that was last year for only two weeks. We've been through a lot of ups and downs but as long as u keep the faith nothing is IMPOSSIBLE with God. Just make yourself busy with something productive. Work for me has been my therapy it makes me divert my mind from thinking too much. You will be able to handle it remember ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER" smile your timeline is still ok. Try to be busy with something and back it up with prayers it has been tested and proven. Godbless!

 

[zenn]

It's not easy for most (if not all) of us... And having depression issues must make it a lot harder for you!
I think one of the most importants things is to keep yourself busy... Know that you HAVE to wake up in the morning for a very specific task- be it work or something that you cant con your way out of thanks to lethargy... Be active- walk/job/run.. The endorphins will help! Modify your diet to include foods that increase endorphin release as well! But most of all have your days- atleast a fortnight completely mapped out.. So you KNOW what's in store for you... If you keep your mind occupied your days will pass by with a lot more ease...

God Bless and good luck

 

[gsize]

always remember: everyday you are apart means you are closer to the finish line. Never give up hope !

 

[lalune117]

This is off topic - but did you pay for a lawyer / consultant to assist you with the processing of your file? If you did, you should request a partial refund. Whoever is being paid to assist you should have advised you to pay all of the fees (including the RPRF) up front. Failing to do that has unfortunately increased your overall processing time. And you should hold your legal representation responsible for needlessly increasing your processing time. You paid them to make the process better - not worse.

Knowing the fees should all be paid up front is immigration 101. If your consultant / lawyer doesn't know this and didn't properly advise you. - they have no business being in the business of advising people on immigration.

Yes we did hire an attorney. They threw us to a paralegal as soon as the retainer fee was paid. I was not impressed with that. I wouldn't even know how to begin asking for a partial refund (we've paid the entire amount at this point.), and I doubt they would give it to us anyway.

 

[gsize]

more than likely, they had you sign papers that basically says they are not responsible.

You can always lodge a complaint at a later date.

 

[lalune117]

Take 5htp it helps A LOT. over the counter

I already take psych meds, so I don't think that's an option for me. I'm bipolar with psychotic features. I take a mood stabalizer, an anti-depressant, and an anti-psychotic already as it is. I also take an anti-anxiety medication.

 

[gsize]

I already take psych meds, so I don't think that's an option for me. I'm bipolar with psychotic features. I take a mood stabalizer, an anti-depressant, and an anti-psychotic already as it is. I also take an anti-anxiety medication.

you are correct ! Please dont take 5HTP if you are on meds ! Always check with DR. or better yet Naturopath (they helped me so much through this nightmare)