Havana, Cuba

[veradis]

Weeee! That all sounds amazing!!! Good for him for getting out there and getting integrated in his new city!! It really is such a blessing how much Cuban men want to provide for their families. There are sooo many Canadian men ( not all but a lot) that need to learn this : ) Cuban men are also SOOO resourceful. I mean my man can fix or make anything. It really is sexy

Where do you guys live?

It is good...but don't get me wrong, there are definitely insanely hard parts too. Everyone who has been through it warned me that the hard part starts after they arrive, I didn't believe it, thought nothing could be harder than waiting, but it's true. There's strange power struggles that you don't expect but that make sense...it's like a weird rebellion against their total dependence on you. A friend whose husband has been here for a year gave me the good advice of just letting him make his mistakes and not correcting him unless it was life or death. It's easy to slip into constantly correcting them, or doing things for them, because we know how things work here...but it's hard on their egos. Now that he's feeling more independent and understanding how Canada works a bit more, it's a lot easier to just have fun together again. We live in Toronto, which is great cause there's a big Cuban community here. In fact he has several good friends, and a few acquaintances, from his town alone living in Toronto. Though we do try not to just end up doing Cuban husbands/Canadian wives socializing constantly...that can get a bit old fast!

 

[327856]

Ya my parents have been several time since we met and have spent time with him and have gone to their house for meals and stuff... but this is the one time since the app was submitted in June! They call him son and love him to death! they email to each other back and forth every day. The best is my hubby and my 85 yr old grandmother. they walk arm-in-arm and eh takes her places and even got her to dance to reggaeton in the middle of a circle last xmas! hysterical!! lol

it is so good when the family all gets along. I am blessed for that!

 

[sassylassie]

It is good...but don't get me wrong, there are definitely insanely hard parts too. Everyone who has been through it warned me that the hard part starts after they arrive, I didn't believe it, thought nothing could be harder than waiting, but it's true. There's strange power struggles that you don't expect but that make sense...it's like a weird rebellion against their total dependence on you. A friend whose husband has been here for a year gave me the good advice of just letting him make his mistakes and not correcting him unless it was life or death. It's easy to slip into constantly correcting them, or doing things for them, because we know how things work here...but it's hard on their egos. Now that he's feeling more independent and understanding how Canada works a bit more, it's a lot easier to just have fun together again. We live in Toronto, which is great cause there's a big Cuban community here. In fact he has several good friends, and a few acquaintances, from his town alone living in Toronto. Though we do try not to just end up doing Cuban husbands/Canadian wives socializing constantly...that can get a bit old fast!

I can totally see that happening. The only time we ever disagree is when my husband tells me how to do something "better" when I am there. I have been on my own since I was 18...no one tells me what to do!!!!! So I can see me needing to just keep my mouth shut when he gets here...and allow him to figure it all out in due time!

We are also in Toronto, so when he comes...I will have to get him in touch with the Cuban community.

 

[veradis]

I can totally see that happening. The only time we ever disagree is when my husband tells me how to do something "better" when I am there. I have been on my own since I was 18...no one tells me what to do!!!!! So I can see me needing to just keep my mouth shut when he gets here...and allow him to figure it all out in due time!

We are also in Toronto, so when he comes...I will have to get him in touch with the Cuban community.

Unfortunately that desire to help you do things 'better' increases when they land in 'your world'. There was a lot of back and forth about what is unreasonable criticism and what is helpful. And serious discussion around the idea of 'sometimes it's better to be kind than right'. It felt like my husband would just shadow me around the apartment waiting for 'teachable moments'. I think he just needed to feel like he knew something I didn't know and could help me learn so that it wasn't just me constantly teaching him new things. Admittedly he was also bored so had nothing better to do than follow me around haha. I haaaaate being criticized and told what to do as well so these were not my finest moments. Being able to talk to some women who have been through it helped. They were just like 'Oh the critical stage, yeah, been there...it fades. The power struggles...yep, totally normal.'

So yeah, both sides need to watch their know-it-all tendencies...and recognize that it's gonna happen anyway and try to roll with it.

Where's your husband from? Does he know anybody in Toronto (besides you obviously!)?

 

[327856]

No videos!! but pics and voice notes! we send several pics to each other every week, so it adds up and we surpass the data roaming coverage! Weve tried to do less, but we always end up breaking it... lol you have a choice of a few plans to decide ur usage... You cant do data on paygo unfortunately Last I checked anyways... but I upgraded mine to a new blackberry, and brought my old one to activate on a month to month basis with just a data package. You dont have to add a minute plan if you dont want to, I explained to them the phone would be used overseas only for data, so I think per minute it would cost 12$ or smthg if he were to use it.. crazy! We figure when he comes here we'll lower the plan and his family can keep the phone to contact him more easily (but they wont be msging all day everyday like we do).

avana how do you activate your data from month to month. You call in? Mine is always on for $100 for 10 mb. I am curious

 

[DDG]

This forum stresses me out.... lol

 

[Avana]

avana how do you activate your data from month to month. You call in? Mine is always on for $100 for 10 mb. I am curious

No I mean when I activated it, I didnt get a contract just did a monthly contract! and I seem to remember that that was why we could get a certain plan, but im not sure, i Did it almost 2 years ago!

 

[327856]

No I mean when I activated it, I didnt get a contract just did a monthly contract! and I seem to remember that that was why we could get a certain plan, but im not sure, i Did it almost 2 years ago!

ya ok makes sense now!

 

[327856]

hmm stupid question group but when do i get s signature thingy with the cute little girl and boy and our waiting time???

 

[KJG]

hmm stupid question group but when do i get s signature thingy with the cute little girl and boy and our waiting time???

you have to make one and insert on your profile signature line...daisypath and there is another one...I forget...will find and advise!!!

 

[Avana]

ppsandy if you click on one of our signatures it will bring you directly to the place to make it!

 

[327856]

ppsandy if you click on one of our signatures it will bring you directly to the place to make it!

aww ok but which one to do i pick for the waiting version.....it seems you have to plug a date to wait until but i dunno when havana will call wish i did

 

[KJG]

aww ok but which one to do i pick for the waiting version.....it seems you have to plug a date to wait until but i dunno when havana will call wish i did

there are two types counting down and counting up....look for the other one!!!

 

[327856]

there are two types counting down and counting up....look for the other one!!!

i think i got it thanks looks so pretty lol tried find a ''mulaton'' to best describe papi!

 

[DDG]

It is good...but don't get me wrong, there are definitely insanely hard parts too. Everyone who has been through it warned me that the hard part starts after they arrive, I didn't believe it, thought nothing could be harder than waiting, but it's true. There's strange power struggles that you don't expect but that make sense...it's like a weird rebellion against their total dependence on you. A friend whose husband has been here for a year gave me the good advice of just letting him make his mistakes and not correcting him unless it was life or death. It's easy to slip into constantly correcting them, or doing things for them, because we know how things work here...but it's hard on their egos. Now that he's feeling more independent and understanding how Canada works a bit more, it's a lot easier to just have fun together again. We live in Toronto, which is great cause there's a big Cuban community here. In fact he has several good friends, and a few acquaintances, from his town alone living in Toronto. Though we do try not to just end up doing Cuban husbands/Canadian wives socializing constantly...that can get a bit old fast!

I have been reading your blog for an hour!! I love it so much. It's really helped me to laugh when all I want to do is cry. Thank you for that!!