divorce and Canadian sponsorship

[turmoil]

I am a Canadian PR, sponsored by my husband. The marriage is taking a huge toll on me. I am considering divorce and am unsure of my rights. He is verbally abusive and drinks too much. Recently, he has told me he has Hep C, in which I am waiting on my results on. These are areas he never told me about prior to getting married or in the course of us dating. He also told me, in his past he was treated for ghonneria and syphilis, in which I am waiting on results for all STD's.
I gave up everything to move here with him and start my life with him, in Canada. I have nothing to return to; no home, no job. I am unsure what to do. I am a US citizen, .and though I can return back to the USA, as he is the only reason I am here, I do not have money to get set up again. I am still in the same household with him, because I have no where to go. I only own 4 suitcases full of clothes. I have been sending resumes out to the US, but when the calls come, I must be available for the interview, but cannot cause I'm stuck here.
I do not have funds for an atty. He has taken my interact card and hidden it. I am at his mercy!
Please help me know my rights.

 

[ariell]

I am honestly sorry to hear about your situation. But you are NOT just stuck here! If he is mistreating you and putting your health at risk then GET OUT! Go stay with friends or contact a woman's shelter in your area. Of course you can always go back to the US. Do you have friends or relatives there that you can stay with until you get yourself set up? You are NOT at his mercy. You have lots of options. Best of luck.

 

[turmoil]

Unfortunately, my friends are his friends, and aren't really my firends, they're drinking buddies. The economy in the states is so bad. I don't know how I will survive on $10 an hour in getting set up when I don't even own a fork. I only own my clothes. I don't have family I can turn to. The only close friend I have is taking a job overseas and is leaving within 30 days. I isolated myself the last 3 years because of him. I did it to myself. But he was on the other end prompting me. I confided in his Aunt with all thats going on but she naturally has his best interest. She told me she felt $500 was reasonable for me to be on my way and I should take it and go. Go where I asked her. She told me to go back to the states and get a divorce. If ever I felt so alone it is now. Under the advice of his Aunt, he took the money from our joint bank account and moved it to another account. I don't want everything he has, I just want to have enough to get set up. and a little help until I can get on my feet. I'm not a gold digger, I'm just trying to learn how to survive. He is very abusive with his words. I have never been called horrible names or felt so weak. He has broken things and tore up our wedding pictures. He took my wedding ring. He gets crazy when he drinks and I have to pay the price. Then when he gets sober he acts loving and apologizes. But I can't do it anymore. I am in a state of depression. I don't know to do, I have no strength. My medical results will be in this week. I can only pray that my health is in tact. I didn't know this is how it would turn out or I never would of sold my stuff, changed my life and given up me for this. Seriously, what measures can I take to obligate him just until I can get back on my feet? And how do I do this. I don't have money for an atty. I want to go home, but $500 is barely enough to get me there. I have looked for room mates on craigslist, 1st months rent and deposit is wanted. I'm at a loss. I'm in tears that I did this to myself.

 

[joecreosta]

hey turmoil. maybe i missing something in ur story. so u r a american citizen but on a PR inside canada sponsored by your canadian husband? ok i get it now.

here's ur rights.

he sponsored u and he responsible for ur food clothes medical care all 9 yards for up to 3 years since u became PR canadian.

it dont seems like u really have an immigration related issues in ur case but u are seeking for marriage advice consulting.

i think u should go contact local womans aide help line. they are very good help womans like u needing help from abusing husbands. there phone number is 1.866.863.0511 u can call them 24/7 365 days year. they are there for ur hleping dont shy call them if u needs help.

they can help u very much. i know from friend of friend she was in same story like u and has kids. this help line really helped her crisis.

Yusuf

 

[ariell]

Yes, I agree, you need to contact a women's shelter in your area then. They can guide through this and can provide direction about finding a job, housing and contacting a lawyer. If you can't afford a lawyer then you can contact someone through Legal Aid.

Can I ask what you were doing before you met your husband? What type of work were you doing? Can you go back to doing that?

 

[Leon]

From what I have heard from women who were at women's shelters, they are not always the best but if you are really desperate, it must be better than the current situation. You can also look for something like legal aid or see if the womens shelter has legal aid. I do not know if you can kick your husband out of the apartment but a friend of mine told me about a friend of his who got in an argument with his girlfriend, not even wife, and she got him a restraining order from his own house. Not her house or their house, his house.

If he took your interac card, you can go to the bank and tell them it's lost and get a new one. If this is a joint account though and he's already taken the money from it, it would be better for you to open your own account. You need your own income. Even if you get a job at Tim H or similar, it will get you a bit of cash, get you out of the house, even make some friends and you can work more hours to keep your mind off things and to get more money.

 

[iarblue]

One thing you need to realize about Canada.It is unlike the states in respect of spousal abuse.All you have to do is make one call to 911 tell them he is abusing you,even if it is verbal the law knows these things escalte.And they will arrest him on the spot.What you say will have no effect on this.They dont even care if you turned around and said oh never mind it will be ok.Once the call is made he is gone to jail,until court where he has to prove there was no abuse and while he is out of the house(well both yours house),once he goes to cousr 2 to 3 days later there you will ask for a restarining order.This will put him out of the house he will have to go live with his aunt,it will be him searching for a place to stay.
And knowing he still has to support you he still has to pay the bills at the house even though he cant live there because of the order.He will also be put on a peace bond which will make him not be able to call you,harras you,or even come close to you.He is not allowed to email you,text you,his hands will be tied after you get yourself set up get out.
About the STDs its likely another way to just make you more stressed,another form of abuse(lets hope thats what it is).
Best of luck.....but just to let you know you do not have to run or get out call the police tell them he is drunk verbal abusing you and its getting worse and you are scared its going to escalte they will remove him as this is now your home too,you are married.

 

[canadianwoman]

Syphillis and gonorrhea can be cured; unfortunately, hepatitis C can't be.
You are married to him; you have rights. He can't just kick you out with $500. He is legally responsible for your living expenses for three years because of the sponsorship. Of course, enforcing that is not always easy.
Contact a woman's shelter in your area - even if you don't move into it, they can give you advice. Also contact Legal Aid.
It might be easier for you to stay in the city you are in and get a job, rather than going back to the States with no money.
If you move out, you may be eligible for welfare. Your husband will be legally obligated to pay back any welfare you receive.

 

[joecreosta]

lol @ calling cops

why are people not patient in relationships anymore?